Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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