Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
