tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
