Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
