I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize