What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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