Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
