dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
