party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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