I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
