Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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