I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
