Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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