If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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