Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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