then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
