Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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