WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I smell stomach acid.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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