I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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