i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I could fuck to npr.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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