Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize