I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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