I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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