i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
