Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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