i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I met the friendliest cop last night
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
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