Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
