No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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