Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize