Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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