Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
