Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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