Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
