He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
