Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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