I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
