Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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