Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
