thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
