Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
