Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
