you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
