Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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