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i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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