Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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