Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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