Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Barsexuality is the new black.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize