Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
