It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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