Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
