i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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