Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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