so explain again why im purple
no
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
