Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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