Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
