Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
