sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
