i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
