I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
