Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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