STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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